Discussion: Verbal Abuse

I don't think that people in school or in the work place realize that they may be verbally abusing people everyday. I mean, I am 14 and think that some of the people in my school don't get the point, that verbal abuse is a part of their everyday lives. Like right now, my friends are in a fight and they stuff to each other back and forth and behind each others backs; i think they think it is okay to call each other bitches and whores and stuff like that., but its not. What they are doing is a form of abuse. Sure it is a petty little high school girl fight, but still it could still turn into physical or domestic abuse. They are already verbally abusing each other, so why not take it to the next level.
what do u think?

>>By Aley



i think that it is very bad

>>By jp



me my self deal with this

>>By pig



Since the kid hear the verbally abusing words so much some of them pay it know mind. They dont even recognize that it abuse sometimes but in some cases it dose trigger fights which can escalate to wars and its petty because it all started from simple words

>>By Code NIne



thats totally true. i've been doing reserach about it for school and technically verbal abuse is anything said about you that hurts your feelings in any way... tsk!

>>By dooda



I think that every one is somehow affected by verbal abuse, it's kind of crazy that everyone has to go through that too. I think that it's just as devestating and hurtfull as physical abuse, so why doesn't anyone pay as much attention to it?

>>By Mouse



I think there should be more websites giving statistics about verbal abuse

>>By Frankie



People don't really realize that it exists and that it is something that will stay with you for the rest of your life.

>>By Kita



I think people who don't recognize verbal abuse are usually the people whoo are doing it. If they would just talk to someone about it they may take a hint that they are an abuser and need to stop or get help.

>>By swimmer



My name is Chris Kontos. I was the fat ass drummer of that band(Verbal Abuse) in 88' to 92' and it was no cake walk; let me tell you. I was on the live L.P. Passport 89', and Red White and Violent came out in 92' but finished being recorded in 90'. At first I worked as a roadie for the band V.A. in 85' 86' 87' as well as the Part Time Christians. That's how I got into punk rock! I had my first band in 84' Attitude Adjusment. The first L.P. we did in 86' on Pusmort rec. was called American Paranoia. It sold something like 20k! Alot of L.P.'s for that time. But at the same time, I loved to help out on tours as a roadie- I got to know the biz that way. After working with V.A. for some time, in 89' Greg the first drummer had to cut out on the band. And he left the job to me with six days to get the set down before the bands first trip to Europe!!! We did two Euro tours in 89' 90'. One of them was 4&1/2 months long. Then a 5 month tour ten months later. The line up was: On bass: Dave(ko ko) Chavez, On guitar:Andy Schuman, On vox:Scotty Wilkins, and myself on drums. We went over to fill in the dates for M.D.C. who could not go. So we took on the gigs. It was cool to see the world with the band, met new people, See all the sites, and then burn'em down and kick their ass' in!!!!! At least that's how I remember it. We took all kinds of shit from everyone on those tours, the cops, feminists, straight edge kids, drunks in the street, the opening acts, we gave each other the most shit of all. It was like a game "who is it gonna be?" the trouble just hunted us down and it was on. Some times I would feel it right off in the morning. Just one thing that set the day going in a bad way. And we would be in a fight that night. I played all kinds of shows in the west with V.A. but not to much on the east coast . Violence would play a huge role in the bands history - It was to be the undoing of the band in mid 93' or 95'. I myself.... went on to Machine Head in 92'. Verbal Abuse had more drummers play in the band than Spinal Tap! I got out alive to tell this sad story to you today. I played a benefit for the first singer (Nicki Sicky he got busted in Texas for speed) in 2000 in S.F. It went great!! But for some reason Scotty wanted to do more shows. He booked a gig in Santa Cruz Cal. with Dr.Know; who rock by the way and played no part in this at all. but it was lame, and it sucked flat out! Not in a club, not the right bands, shit sound, and Scotty fell off a 200 day wagon, that day!!, and he was was wasted by 3:00pm. We hit the stage at 11:45pm. Sucked! Off at 1:20am the lights went off and on the whole set , the sound cut on and off. We sucked, and we ripped off the fans if you ask me. Scotty runs out of the club to god knows where, The promoter payed me the money at next to 3:00am- still no Scotty......So I payed the band and cut them lose to get home. I payed my friend who rented the van to get to the show that night. We just where about to cut out.... when Scotty comes back to the parking lot all pissed off, just fucked up. I jumped out of the van and he got right in my face. Just a bit too much for me at that time, so I walked away, I gave him his money, and just walked. right as I got around the van he was swinging on my friends ( names removed to protect guilty) I went off! to say the least. Now you must know one thing, I had Scotty's back in a lot of fights over the years, but we never got in one with each other. I kicked his ass, but........it was lame. My pal and war buddy. Well it was all part of the game of being in the punk rock legend VERBAL ABUSE!!! SEE YA!!! ~C~

>>By Chris Kontos (the drummer) of the punk band V.A.



well swimmer, i think that the ones who dont realize verbal abuse are the ones who are abeing abused because they dont under stand that the abuser is the one with the problem, not them.

>>By the softball player



why in the hell is every web site about verbal abuse really about verbal abuse, i want to talk/ find out about the punk band!! if you know what im talking about please help me

>>By kaoskid



If you can't handle a little jab here and there, then don't F$cking go outside---go back to your protected sandbox you pansy--where only good things and happy thoughts are to be had.

>>By Chronic Verbal Abuser



kaoskid, Come to my web site : www.servantsrock.com if you want to know more about the band V.A. Plus you can see my new band at the same time!!!I will be up for e-mails at : info@servantsrock.com as well. Rock on!!!! ~Chris Kontos~

>>By Chris Kontos



Did I say I was in the Metal band "MACHINE HEAD" ( 92'/95' ) A bunch of folkers have sent me e-mails asking me about that band and that time. It is still a sore subject with me but I don't let it get in the way of my life. At the time I played on Robbs' demo in May of 92' - I was still in V.A. and a band called GRINCH. Robb Flynn was out to start a new band and had sought me out in the hard-core punk scene. The songs that Robb played me were raw and thick and down tuned and heavy as hell! He had just left VIO-LENCE and told me that they had been after that MTV "headbangers ball" sound and they thought his shit was too hard! Plus, they could not get the hang of the beats and riffs. So he got two fans of the band (Adam Duce & logan Mader) and started to jam at Robbs' room. Now at some point Robb had a chance to be in MINISTRY and had to send in some of his stuff on tape, He did not want to send VIO-LENCE to them ,so he asked me to jam out on the new songs he had. I was on my way to New York to the New Music Seminar to shop Grinch and V.A.'s new shit in two weeks(Jun.22nd 92'). So we rocked out a fast demo and I was off. In the meantime, they got this lame ass to play drums and they got 3 or 4 more songs and did a gig that got a review in BAM.(Jan 23rd 93') I got home 7 months later....... New York has a way of sucking you in! I saw this guy drumming in the band, and set out to take his job. And he made it easy, this guy didn't know how to act. So after I had some talks with Robb......" I "was in, and "he" was on a bus back to Las Vegas! Now at first it was cool , we got all the songs ready for the demo, and did some really cool shows and the buzz was out on the band. Once the demo was out, it hit us that we could make a run at some big labels and might get a deal! And right off we got a great deal on ROADRUNNER! We did one of the best metal records out the Bay in years! Shit......in the World!!!!!(Aug.9th 94') Right in the face off all the nay sayers. Thanx to the hard work of our manager!!!. Then we jumped on a tour bus together with NAPALM DEATH FOR 3 MONTHS and did not ever really get to know who the fuck we were. I had been all over the world 3 times and small van tours in the U.S. and this was the first time out for the guys in the band. They did not act so nice on the road and got all rock star on all the help! Every man for himself was the call of the day. 22 months later I was so over the small-man complex and the drug fights and spending all the $$$$ on bull shit and the back stabbing in the band, I was just over it. The last 5 months I was sick with some hard core viral infection and had to come home for surgerey from JAPAN. Igot the operation and went on the South American tour and got sick once again. and I had to miss the DONNINGTON FEST. No one was more bummed out about that than me, trust me. Not only did I get no love from my band; I Got kicked out! Now, we had fights over lame shit all the time, and that's Robbs' big head with all the plans for the band made with him and our Manager. We got left out of the mix all the time. Adam would take orders all day from Robb; just not having to help kept him happy, and Logan was lost half the time, so it was no big deal to him, but some of the shit that Robb wanted to do was wrong, flat out. So if I had something to say about it, that was a big deal. I just don't Puppy up to you if you come at me all one sided and shit,you have to ask us as a band if we should or not, but they just got hella bossy and that ain't me homie! Now it's all good, and it was the best thing to get out of the band because it is a lame NU-METAL band now, all trendy and shit. Robb kicked all the best heads in the band out, got dropped off Roadrunner and just lost all respect of the Metalheads in the world and that's just a shame. I get much love from all the fans of Burn My Eyes and I love that C.D. too, and love the folks that I got to know in that time on my tours with MACHINE HEAD. But.. the shit talking still goes on in the press with Robb to this day. And the next band he has beef with is.........He got on the bad side of SLAYER last year! That is so lame to go off on the one band to give MACHINE HEAD a real chance to make it the biz!!!! and because Robb fired his first manager, and got with SLAYERS' management, then got dropped by that guy and had to go back to the first manager, Robb has to talk shit about Kerry King!! Now MH is back on ROADRUNNER, yet low sales of the records, and no love from MTV (or any of the video shows for that matter) keep MACHINE HEAD LOW ON THE TOTEM POLL OF NU-METAL TO THIS DAY!!!! Bands that opened for us(COAL CHAMBER,DEF TONES,KORN,MESHUGGAH,DISTURBED) are big-time now,and sell millions of records and play to huge crowds. Sharon Ozbourne called MACHINE HEAD a twenty minute opener at best, and a Stiff. Most of the bands that get to know Adam or Robb find out that they can be cool, but they spend so much time trippin' out on shit, that it gets in the way of progress. Now, I know it's all about Robb proving something to someone. Who that is, we will never know. All I hear from fans,or just from the guys that played in MACHINE HEAD after me, or worked for them is that they fake like they are all cool and tuff and party hard and get laid and got it like that. I like to be in rock bands for all types of reasons, but none of them are about getting back at the world ,or some need to rule some small metal band from the Bay Area. In the end I have gone on to play with some of the best folks in the world and made a ton of new friends. I know that would not have happened in MACHINE HEAD, and I'm proud of the time I had but......I'M HAPPY TO BE A DRUM SLUT!!!!!! ROCK ON!!!!! ~CHRIS KONTOS~ www.servantsrock.com

>>By bosco



I am new to this site so, please forgive me.
I was wondering if anyone out there knows the whereabouts of Nicki Sicky? I know Nicki from years past (Texas) and we have lost touch. Would anyone out there know how to find him?

Any news on Humugus?? What is the status of his other band, anyone know?

Any information would help.

Thanks.

>>By StaceyB



hey bosco.. is the bad-mouthing really necessary? Myself, I dislike anyone making a certain kind of music for the reason that it sells well, but I fail to see the need to bash former bandmates in such a way.

If Robb is falling apart the way you say he is, the same way I see both B. Dez Fafara from Coal Chamber/Devildriver and Phil Anselmo (Pantera [TAMPORA!!!;)], Down, Superjoint Ritual) speeding through this downward spiral of name-calling and media bullshit that they've made for themselves, then we should learn from their mistakes and not let ourselves turn into the same kind of mess.

I will check out any new MH that comes out, but won't buy it if it's becoming what you claim.

Heh, and I can't believe that in a music discussion area, multiple people would think that we're talking about actual 'verbal abuse'... Sticks and stones, etc.. haha oh well.

>>By Tonmeister



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